I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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