Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
