Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
