I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
