Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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