it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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