Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
honey bunches of taint.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
