I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
