I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Randomize
