I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
