I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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