Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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