Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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