he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
