just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize