i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
