you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need to calm my uterus...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
