New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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