great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she told me i tasted like america
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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