I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
