I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
