why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
