Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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