just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
