He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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