I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
