When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
