drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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