i can't believe i had my finger in that
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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