just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Less talking, more tequila
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
