Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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