I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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