why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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