Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
