I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
