If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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