omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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