i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
