i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
