i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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