just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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