god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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