I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You don't make any sense
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