i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
