i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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