Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize