I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
