biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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