Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I need to sanitize my soul.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
