The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
