those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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