I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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