You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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