if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
