Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
