If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
