he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
