i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
