It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
are you so shy because you have an std?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
